Well, gems that made me giggle!
Enjoy and go ahead, no ones looking.... Laugh out loud!
Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac. George Carlin
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
Mae WestNo one is listening until you fart.
There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling it brings. "
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.